The Soap of Seduction
by Raven21
Summary: What happens when Draco comes across a strange bar of soap... PG-13 just to be safe!


Hello all! Wow my first story... pretty weird... please review! If you like it, sequals are definetly a possibility!!!  
*~Raven~*  
  
  
  
Narrator: It's a Saturday, and Malfoy has decided to go to the librairy. He needs to get some work done so he can... erm... What are you going to do?  
  
Malfoy: Sure like I'm going to tell you!  
  
Narrator: Well ummm... ok. Anyway before he goes, he decides to take a bubble bath.  
  
Malfoy: I DO NOT TAKE BUBBLE BATHS!  
  
Yeah... sure you don't. Don't forget Mr. Quackers.  
  
Malfoy: Oh thanks... HEY!!!!  
  
Narrator: Ha ha! Anyway before gets in he looks for his Neutregina for sesitive skin, but in it's place finds a strange bar of plain white soap.  
  
Malfoy: Oh bloody it! I'll have to go steal some from Pansy! In the mean time, I can't go without soap!  
  
Narrator: He procedes with his bath  
  
Malfoy: Do you mind?  
  
Narrator: No.  
  
Malfoy: Just skip to the part when I have clothes on again.  
  
Narrator: But that takes all the fun out of it!  
  
Malfoy: Do you want this to continue? Because I can just go back to my trailor and..  
  
Narrator: Oh fine fine!  
  
***SKIPPING NUDITY***  
  
Narrator: Ok, so anyway. We catch up with Draco as he is entering the librairy. He walks in and isn't so suprised to see Hermione.  
  
Malfoy: Oh great... Granger is here. Why am I not suprised?  
  
Narrator: Hermione is about to retort when Draco walks by letting her get a whiff of the new soap.  
  
Hermione: Why don't you just... oh wow...  
  
Narrator: She remains frozen to the spot untill Malfoy is out of sight.  
  
Hermione: *thinking* Oh my God that smells good... wait... I'm having a sudden urge to seduce him!!!  
  
Narrator: And without another thaught, she dives around the corner.  
  
Malfoy: What do you want?  
  
Narrator: Hermione leans against the bookcase and gives Malfoy a seductive wink.  
  
Hermione: *seductivly* Hi there hunk  
  
Malfoy: HUH?  
  
Hermione: You heard me lover boy, come here and give mama some suger!  
  
Malfoy: Is this some kind of sick joke?!  
  
Narrator: To answer his question, she dives at him with puckered lips.  
  
Malfoy: Ahhhhhh!  
  
Incredibly fast for a guy with chicken legs, he runs screaming from the librairy with Hermione hot on his heels.  
  
Hermione: Wait lover! Come back!!  
  
Narrator: Malfoy stampeads through the halls and down through the dungeons finnaly dives into the Slytherin common room.  
  
Malfoy: Ahhh... Whoa! Granger spends way too much time in that librairy than is good for her!  
  
Narrator: He is so exausted he dosn't notice Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy come up behind him.  
  
Pansy: DRACO! DID YOU STEAL MY LOOFA AGAIN!!!!  
  
Malfoy: ACK! Geeze! You almost gave me a heart attack!  
  
Pansy: Yeah well..*sniff sniff* what is that smell?   
  
Crabbe: Yeah... smells um... um...  
  
Pansy: Arousing....  
  
Goyle:.... What she said...  
  
Narrator: All at once, the three Slytherins get the sudden urge to seduce Draco...  
  
Pansy: *Gasp* Draco! I've never seen this side of you before!  
  
Malfoy: Excuse me?  
  
Narrator: Crabbe and Goyle attempt saucy looks which just end up looking very scary...  
  
Malfoy: What the heck!  
  
Narrator: All three try to jump him at once, but once again Malfoy is saved by his skinny boy reflexes. He runs at breakneck speed up the stairs and through the hall. Screaming like a girl, of course. He wasn't looking where he was going and plowed right into HARRY AND RON!  
  
Harry: Ouch! Dangit Malfoy!  
  
Ron: Why don't you just bloody... *sniff sniff* what is that smell?  
  
Malfoy: Oh no....  
  
Narrator: At the same moment, Ron and Harry's faces change into seductive smirks.  
  
Harry: Draco, where have you been?  
  
Ron: Shove of Harry! He's mine!  
  
Harry: No way Weasly! He's MY hunk of burnin lover!  
  
Ron: Says who?  
  
Harry: Says me!  
  
Ron: Oh yeah?  
  
Harry: Yeah!  
  
Ron: Oh yeah?  
  
Harry: Yeah!  
  
Ron: Oh yeah!  
  
Harry: YEAH!  
  
Ron: OH YEAH!  
  
Narrator: Ummm guys...  
  
Harry and Ron: WHAT?!  
  
Narrator: He just ran off.  
  
Harry and Ron: WHAT!!!  
  
Narrator: Sure enough Malfoy was on the run again, he whipped around a corner to come face to face with...  
  
Hermione: I knew you would come running back to me!  
  
Malfoy: AHHHHH!  
  
Narrator: He tried to go a diffrent way, but was blocked by PANSY, CRABBE, and GOYLE!  
  
Pansy: Kiss me baby!  
  
Malfoy: WAHHHH!   
  
Narrator: He tries to go back the way he came but is blocked by Harry and Ron! With intellegence wraught from panick, Malfoy dives between Goyle's legs and races down the stairs towrds his bathroom.  
  
Malfoy: That soap! It's somthing to do with that soap!  
  
Narrator: With a stampeade of people behind him, Malfoy dashes into his bathroom and locks the door.  
  
*on other side of door*  
Pansy: Draco? Why are you hiding from me?  
  
Ron: Come to daddy!  
  
Harry: He's mine!  
  
Hermione: No he's mine! I saw him first!  
  
Narrator: While his seducers fight over him, Draco manages to find the soap.  
  
Malfoy: It dosn't say anything!!!  
  
Narrator: Well, you might want to try that box on the floor.  
  
Malfoy: Errr... right...*reads alloud* DANGER: Soap of Seduction! The sent of this soap causes any person within proximity of the soapee to have a strong urge to SEDUCE him or her!!! WHAT THE HECK!!!  
  
Narrator: At this moment, sombody hollered an exploading charm and caused the door to blow up.  
  
Harry: Come to papa!  
  
Hermione: Get jiggy with me baby!  
  
Pansy: Ow ow ow!  
  
Malfoy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Narrator: Draco opened his eyes with a jolt. He was laying in bed.  
  
Malfoy: Thank God, it was all a dream, a really bad dream.  
  
Hermione, Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, Ron and Harry: *In bed with him* THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!  
  
  
Wow... really weird... please review! It's my first story!!!!!! 


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